Islamic parenting is often summarised by the word tarbiyah: nurturing and raising a child in faith and good character over time, not through a single conversation or a fixed checklist. The Qur'an frames this as a real responsibility. In Surah At-Tahrim, chapter sixty-six, verse six: “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire”. Scholars understand this to include actively teaching and guiding one's children, not only providing for them materially.

Gentleness is the starting point. The Prophet, peace be upon him, showed open affection to children, including kissing his grandson al-Hasan in front of others. When a man said he had never kissed any of his own children, the Prophet replied: “Whoever is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully”. That is in Sahih al-Bukhari. Warmth and affection towards children are part of the prophetic example, not softness to be trained out of a parent.

For one core practice, the prayer, a hadith gives a widely cited age framework. In Sunan Abi Dawud, the Prophet said: “Command your children to pray when they become seven years old”, and to be firmer about it at ten. Scholars usually read this as a general principle: gentle instruction and habit-forming well before the age of obligation, moving towards firmer expectation as a child grows, rather than a rigid script for every child.

On discipline specifically, mainstream contemporary scholarly guidance treats any physical element as a genuinely restricted last resort, not a parenting method: never injurious, never to the face, never in anger, and only after other approaches, such as explanation, encouragement, natural consequences, or withdrawing a privilege, have been tried, with age and temperament taken into account. Many contemporary scholars and Islamic parenting resources actively discourage physical discipline as a first or primary tool, consistent with the tradition's much larger emphasis on gentleness. If you are unsure how to apply this to your own child, look for guidance from a qualified, contemporary source, rather than a single hadith read in isolation.

Finally, faith and character are best modelled, not only explained. Children absorb far more from what they see a parent actually doing, such as how disagreements are handled, whether prayer is kept up, and how others are spoken about, than from instruction alone. For practical routines and activities, see the Raising Children page.